Got myself into a situation

I felt I was running behind with some client work. Building a feature-set  that seemed to swell with every turn it took. My limited time split between helping the team drive forward and implementing things myself. I felt some pressure this week to live up to what I thought we could achieve in the that particular sprint.

This is when I double-checked my planned talk at ElixirConf Africa and saw that it was much sooner than I expected. Poor planning on my part.

I didn't want to bail on ElixirConf Africa and I actually felt like I had failed to put in the level of work I expect of myself with the client. Usually the wisdom is to manage the expectations of yourself and others rather than to try and conjure more hours in the day. This week I chose violence.

Me and my wife conspired about unlocking more time for me this particular week to swing both talk-prep and a ton of hands-on client development work. It felt like a throwback to running a cash-strapped startup or hustling to hit a deadline (which it was, though stakes were different). In some ways it felt quite good. I'm also quite tired.

I didn't hit everything I would have wished for the sprint with the client, that was never realistic. However I solved some of the hardest knots and straightened out many questionmarks.

And I believe I have a good talk prepared for the good folks at ElixirConf Africa. On the topic of chat bots. Quite a production actually. With some luck I might be able to share some of the setup if it turns out well.

Is this my approach now? Turning sprints into actual sprinting? Doing double-time like an american side-hustler and letting my wife carry more of the load of family-life?

No. Not at all. It is good to know we can switch into a mode like this if necessary but it is no way for me to live and it would wear me down immensely.

In some ways it has felt good. My purpose has been very clear and the pressure has been on. Pressure is not always ideal but the way my brain works I have a much, much easier time getting things done when the expectations and stakes feel more real, close, urgent.

An important part is, I chose this. I felt unhappy with my efforts with the client, so I doubled down on getting lots done. I set the scope and complexity of my talk and committed to it. I doubled down on seeing it through.

If you've never worked under pressure, it is worth knowing what that is like. If you only ever work under heavy pressure, you should probably explore other options.

Now I'm going to practice my talk some more. Reach me at lars@underjord.io or find me on Twitter as @lawik.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate your time and attention.