I returned to work on the 4th after taking two weeks off. Some good ”doing other stuff” was achieved. I’m not sure if it was rest as I spent tons of time with my lovely little daughter who is an absolute energy-devouring tiny monster. So maybe not rest but definitely good for both body and soul. Did some carpentry with my father-in-law to set up a wind-resistant fence around our deck. Obviously we aren’t having a very wintery winter. I did go for some minimal cross-country skiing this weekend though. We had three straight days at sub-zero.

Business is moving. I’m partway through roadmapping a project for a new client which is always interesting and I have my ongoing engagements. Also having a follow-up call on a proposal tomorrow. All of it is Elixir-related. If you had any concerns about the viability of the platform for work right now. As for me if you or your employer would benefit from working with me I’d get in touch sooner rather than later.

Twice burnt, getting the hang of this fire thing

There’s a thing I’m vary of with both companies and developers. When they seem to operate mostly on fear. With companies it can be heavy screening in hiring, heavy-handed detail-oriented project management or distrusting employees. In my mind these things either come from a basic mode of operation from some founding member or from cultural scars caused by a bad hire, a runaway project or very anxious management. I believe all of these are detrimental practices. There are projects where detailed specificaitons make sense. There are roles where screening is more important. There are entry-level garbage jobs where mutual distrust is possibly unavoidable at a certain level.

I’ve also seen developers, both employed and independent, that negotiate from a position of past wrong-doings. ”Never this again.. I refuse to ..” They try to negotiate away future discomfort based on previous experiences and to my understanding a fear of repeating that bad experience. With people I find it much more understandable. But whenever I act from this perspective I find it ends up being short-sighted. I should definitely learn what I dislike and want to avoid from bad experiences. I just no longer believe I can encode a perfect heuristic for that in contract terms or handshakes. There is an endless number of potential pains that can land on me in my work, enumerating them is pointless.

Actually, I think its beyond pointless. Because you spend your leverage and career capital on promises that no organization is truly capable of keeping. ”No crunch” or maybe ”no calls during my vacation” are certainly reasonable demands. But will your employer let their business go to hell before they breach those terms? I doubt it.

Rather, I try to do what my first psychotherapist told me as I was working on recovering from burnout. I focus on ”What do you feel?” When something comes up, I try to register the feeling, not just think it through, what do I feel. If I get the feeling that this is not how I want things that’s a signal that I should push back, negotiate or at least air my concerns.

I can’t remove all the discomforts of my life, I can’t negotiate myself away from every imposition or nervous manager I might encounter. Organizations can have their scars, developers have theirs.  I have mine. But I find fear makes us short-sighted, inflexible and is pretty much completely ineffective as a driver for meaningful change. I have achieved so many more of the things I want, earn more, work less, more meaningful work, less oversight by leaning forward into new situations, in spite of the base level of discomfort that entails. And when things I don’t appreciate or accept come gliding in I deal with them then and there.

This doesn’t remove the risk of unpleasant or bad things happening. But in my experience neither does negotiating based on past hurt. Rather, negotiate for the things you want, not the things you want to protect yourself from. Because you can actually get the first set. The second set is all about managing the situation as it arises.

I don’t want to operate on fear, worry or hesitation. I want to act on consideration, intentional choices and steady commitments based on clear negotiation. This doesn’t mean I don’t have fear, worry or hesitation. I can be quite anxious. But for me the way through that is not about building myself a fort. It is about making sure I’m an active participant in the outcome. That’s what I try for. I recommend others to at least try it. Or get a therapist, maybe there are other recommendations for you.

If you want to get in touch, just reply or email lars@underjord.io

Thank you for your attention, I appreciate it.

- Lars Wikman