Growing something takes restraint

You build a skill through repetition and time invested. There is always a limit to how many reps you can get in before it is counter-productive. The best things in life are achieved when we are forced to ride this balance.

This week was mostly ski vacation. With a 3 and a 5 year-old this is a completely different activity from ski trips pre-kids or during the baby era. We all got to actually hit the slopes then and enjoy our ride, ride hard if you wanted the practice. Lots of ways to enjoy it.

Our 3 year-old has little patience for skiing so far but did spend some time on skis just for practice. Our 5 year-old has been absolutely vibrating with excitement. She did a ski school last year so she got the basics down. This year we couldn't get a slot for that but we were very intent to help her get reps in. My father in-law, me, my wife. We took turns or went together with her as she picked up where she left off in her progression and started to build the skill. She did great.

We don't do this because we really enjoy riding way too slowly down the easiest slopes available. We are trying to let her and help her grow the skill of skiing to allow for greater shared experiences in the future. We'll do the same with our son. Our plan is to maintain the beloved tradition of family ski trips. And it is going very well. It is a multi-year process.

It was not satisfying as a form of skiing necessarily. It was soul-nourishing. It was heart-warming. Seeing our daughter try hard, struggle at times with new scary slopes and conquer them with time and effort.

It is very reminiscent of actually planting things to grow. They need continuous attention and an extended usually low-intensity effort. You can do well or poorly in supporting their growth but you can't make them grow. You can't grind. You can't totally crush it at bringing up a tomato plant. "Hell yeah brother! I grew this thing for 12 hours straight today. It's 6 feet tall now."

It is very possible to ruin this type of growth by trying too hard at though.

I find it a very worthwhile challenge. And definitely a challenge. With children, with plants, with junior developers, with business, with open source contributors, with community members. You should certainly encourage them to get on the skis. Help them find their way onto the slopes. Support them, keep them safe, provide a bit of direction when needed. But they have to find their own muscle and drive to do the reps and given good conditions they'll develop at the pace they can.

When have you over-watered a young skiier? When did you make a downhill pro of software development? I'm here on email or on Bluesky and the Fediverse, easy to reach.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.