Special request time: I'm looking for people that blog about Elixir to write some pieces for pay. The rate is fair, you publish the piece on your own site, there's a transparency notice about it being sponsored. If you have a story, or know someone who does, and have an active blog to publish it on I'm currently looking for these topics with an Elixir focus: Hiring, onboarding, training, scalability and productivity

Reach out at lars@underjord.io for more details and discussion.

Another livestream will happen on the YouTube channel today. This one at 13.30 CEST. I'm open to suggestions on what to cover. But I have some ideas. Maybe it should be the CMS project. Just spun that up again in my brain and had some good luck doing things with it. It talks to databases now :)

I also published a bunch of video posts from previous livestreams and more Teaching Elixir things. All at underjord.io.

The Regular Programming podcast had another episode release, number nine, where we go into testing.

The customer isn't always right

When you go into business for yourself and have your aim on being a high-powered developer freelancer consultant something-or-other it is pretty easy to get into thinking "I'll just charge a lot and do the work. I'm not going to be invested but I'm going to be super professional. I'm a stone-cold mercenary."

That sort of works. It can certainly work for some people. For me, that's the beginning of a relationship, where trust hasn't been established in either direction really. At that level I will make suggestions, apply my experience and skills to the best of my understanding and I'll push back on poor choices or things that are truly bad. But my grasp on what is actually right for that customer and what they need is early and somewhat generic. Like any advisory situation, mentorship, coaching or similar, the consulting relationship can mature and the advice benefits from incorporating what you learn about the other party.

I'm presently in the process of discussing proposals with a client where I've pushed quite hard on certain issues. We've worked together for a while now and I see what's working and what I believe needs to happen. And if we can't agree to make moves toward that I don't believe I'll be providing a long-term win for them. So we will either find agreement or a graceful way to wind the engagement down. That's not the mercenary approach.

If I wanted to be mercenary I would pitch exactly what I think they'd accept at the highest rates I think they'd accept. Let them stay comfortable and I can swallow my own discomfort about what I believe the outcomes of that would be. But now, instead, we've had some in-depth conversations and I'll be making the proposal for what I believe they actually need. And I think the odds of them accepting are worse as it is a bigger commitment but I actually believe in the potential outcomes of the proposal.

This applies beyond consulting. When you start saying no, pushing back or elevating the discussion on certain issues is when some of the best progress can happen. Just be clear on what you are protecting. Is it your time? Is it the integrity of a technical system? Is it the some value of the business? Be willing to move the discussion beyond "we can't do that" or "that's a bad idea". That's where your opinions and values can start having an impact in what you do.

Identifying how you feel about something and then acting on that in a considered way is powerful. Sometimes you need to do things you don't love, be aware of that and why you are doing them anyway. Sometimes you want to do a thing just because it is shiny, be aware of that and consider when and if it appropriate.

Honestly the best and hardest thing I got from therapy was asking myself "What do you feel?" in situations. I often and easily get in my head on trying to pin down exactly how I'm feeling and how that relates to whatever I'm dealing with and how that does or doesn't make sense. The way you feel is the way you feel, the next step is how you deal.

I think these things are quite related. You can't figure out your actual values unless you keep an eye on how you feel. What actually makes you stressed? What makes you mad? What makes you glad? And communicating your needs, eg. "I feel uncertain about this task. I can give it a shot but I'd love to have someone to review my plan" or "I'm not sure that's a good idea but I can't quite put my finger on why, let me get back to you" Those are all data points in building what is a value system and knowing where you opinions stem from.

Are you risk averse with money but fine with risk in technical choices? Are you deeply pragmatic or is the whole fun of programming about making beautiful programs? The better you know what you value and what you believe in and how to iterate on that, the easier it becomes to negotiate life and relationships. None of it is ever easy. But if you give it no time, no thought, life pretty much just happens to you and you might be unhappy about it.

Does this make sense to you? Do you feel like your value system is taking shape? Has it always been clear? Always curious about your thoughts at lars@underjord.io or on Twitter where I'm @lawik.

Thank you for your attention, I appreciate you reading this.

- Lars Wikman